Why Doing Hard Things is Good for Us - Building Confidence for Beginners

07.11.24

Why Doing Hard Things is Good for Us - Building Confidence for Beginners

These days we have it pretty easy compared to our ancestors – I don’t often have to figure out anything too complex, I can just google it. If I need something sorting I can get a specialist in. A lot of manual labour has been mechanised and automated. I can get my big shop delivered. The resourcefulness and problem solving skills are outsourced! Great right? Well, maybe sometimes, but what does all this lead to?

People often talk about confidence in their sessions – what is it, where does it come from, how it can be lost at times of our lives when external events go badly. Yet confidence isn't something we can apply all that above stuff to - it won't come just from talking to someone like me, it can't be absorbed by osmosis!

This is where we need to pick some low hanging fruit that I call ‘Doing Stuff that is confidence worthy’! 

There can be a profound sense of accomplishment that can come from stepping out of our little routines and comfort zones and into challenges—whether they be physical, mental, or emotional. And I’m not talking about proving ourselves to others or showing off; it’s about raising the threshold of our abilities, growing a personal confidence that enables us to tackle our everyday challenges with less mumbling and grumbling.

This article explores WHY taking on difficult tasks is beneficial, HOW we can approach challenges in an incremental way, (not jumping in the deep end of the metaphorical Ice Bath), and the psychological and physical benefits of striving to go beyond our perceived limits.

Why Embracing Hard Tasks is Beneficial

Embracing challenging tasks helps build resilience, focus, and a sense of accomplishment. When we push our boundaries, we strengthen our ability to deal with life’s obstacles. There’s a sense of satisfaction in achieving something we initially thought was out of reach, which gradually builds an internal bank of confidence that we can make withdrawals on whenever we need -that isn’t dependent on external validation.

1. Shifting Perceptions of Difficulty: When we regularly challenge ourselves, our perception of what’s "hard" begins to change. Everyday tasks that once seemed daunting may now feel far more manageable by comparison. For example, if you’ve trained to lift a weight that seemed impossible at first, carrying your dog when he gets glass in his foot on Burnham Beach or lugging furniture up some stairs can feel surprisingly effortless.
2. Building Resilience and Patience: Engaging in hard tasks requires resilience and patience with ourselves—two qualities that benefit every area of our lives. Starting new hobbies often means accepting we will be rubbish at it for quite some time as a beginner, unless you’re ‘that guy’. Through practice, we learn to approach challenges with a growth mindset, viewing setbacks as opportunities to learn rather than as signs of failure.
3. Developing Focus and Discipline: Many hard tasks require focus and dedication. Whether it’s learning a new language, training for a marathon, or practising an instrument, we cultivate the ability to stay focused on long-term goals. This discipline then translates to other areas of our lives, where persistence and patience become our allies.

The Benefits of Physical and Mental Challenges

The challenges we take on can be physical, such as running, hiking, or learning a new sport, or mental, like solving complex puzzles, learning a new skill, or working through emotional difficulties with your Counsellor (Hello!). Both types of challenges offer unique benefits and complement each other.

1. Physical Tasks: Physical tasks that challenge our endurance or strength help build our bodies while also shaping our minds. Physical exercise, particularly when challenging, increases the production of endorphins—often referred to as the “feel-good” hormones. This not only boosts mood but reinforces the notion that we can achieve more than we initially believed. As we become fitter and stronger, our physical confidence often spills over into our mental resilience.
2. Mental Tasks: Mental challenges, such as mastering a new language, learning a complex skill, or solving intricate problems, push our cognitive boundaries. Overcoming mental hurdles teaches us to handle frustration, stay focused, and apply creative problem-solving skills. These skills don’t remain confined to specific challenges; the ripple effect can help with day-to-day tasks and improve our overall adaptability.
3. Emotional and Psychological Challenges: Not all hard tasks involve physical or cognitive skills. Sometimes, the hardest challenges involve facing uncomfortable emotions, such as addressing past experiences or overcoming self-doubt. Working through these challenges can build emotional resilience and provide a clearer perspective on who we are and what we’re capable of.

Start Small and Build Gradually

The idea of taking on hard things doesn’t mean diving straight into a marathon or tackling intense emotional work right away. In fact, attempting to do too much too soon can be counterproductive, leading to burnout, further trauma, or discouragement. Instead, consider starting small and building up gradually. Here’s how:

1. Set Manageable Goals: Begin by choosing a task that feels achievable but still slightly outside your comfort zone. For instance, if you want to improve your physical strength, start with simple exercises and short sessions. If you’re working on a mental task, set aside as little as 10–15 minutes a day to focus on it.
2. Incremental Progress: Once you feel comfortable with one level, push yourself a bit further. If you’ve been lifting a particular weight, try increasing it by a small amount. If you’ve been learning a skill, attempt something a bit more complex. Small, incremental steps are crucial for sustaining motivation and avoiding overwhelm.
3. Reflect on Your Progress: Regularly reflect on how far you’ve come. Even small progress is worth celebrating. Acknowledge your efforts and remind yourself of the initial hesitations you may have had, which can serve as powerful reinforcement.
4. Seek Support if Needed: Some hard tasks, particularly emotional or psychological ones, can be difficult to tackle alone. Reaching out for support—whether from friends, family, or a professional (Waves again!)—can be a helpful way to stay grounded and feel less isolated in your journey.

The Confidence That’s Waiting For YOU

As you gradually take on things you never used to, you might even notice how your self talk changes. That little voice that used to say “you could never do that” might just start saying “I reckon I could handle that”.

You may find yourself better equipped to handle everyday stress, or setbacks, staying calm in the face of the latest shitstorm, instead of catastrophising, strategising. This quiet assured confidence, built on tangible experiences of overcoming challenges, is uniquely personal. It doesn’t rely on external recognition, nor does it need validation from others. Instead, it serves as an intrinsic belief that you are capable of more than you once imagined. You KNOW you can cope.

In a world that often pressures us to prove ourselves to others, the ability to cultivate inner confidence is incredibly liberating. It frees us from the need to constantly seek approval, allowing us to find contentment in personal growth.

When Hard Tasks Become Habits

One of the most powerful aspects of embracing hard tasks is the potential for them to become habits. What was once difficult may become routine, but not in a way that diminishes its value. Instead, as challenges turn into habits, they reinforce a mindset of resilience and adaptability that benefits every area of life.

For example, a routine of daily exercise, which might have felt overwhelming at first, becomes a part of your life that you look forward to and rely on. Similarly, developing a regular practice of meditation or just taking a second to do some deep breathing can help you approach emotional challenges with a calmer attitude. When hard tasks become habitual, they continue to build resilience, even as we seek new challenges to pursue.

Taking the First Step

If you’re considering embarking on a journey of tackling hard tasks, remember that the first step is often the most difficult. It’s natural to feel hesitant, to wonder if you’re truly capable of more than you currently believe. Taking that first small step—whether it’s going for a short walk, enrolling on that evening course you’ve been eyeing up for years, or tackling a personal goal—is the beginning of moving towards the kind of person you can see yourself being – which is pretty badass!

If you need some support in figuring out what you next move might be, get in touch (CONTACT ME BY CLICKING HERE!) - accountability and a bit of encouragement could be all you need to start a lifelong habit of believing in yourself!